* bake bread
* finish canvases for bedroom
* do nanowrimo in november
* walk in the peaks
* watch films with hot choc
* read lots
* make and eat crumble
This is the weather for cosy jumpers, hot chocolate and boots.
This is the weather for watching films under blankets, for umbrellas and wooly hats. For falling golden leaves, splashing in puddles and lie ins.
This is the weather for crocheting, warm hearty meals and thick fluffy socks. For dark nights, umbrellas and soft scarves. Muffling up against the wet and the wind, remembering brighter days and savouring the comforts of home.
Whilst I was pregnant, I didn’t think that I really had any cravings, and felt surprisingly normal given all the things that were supposed to happen. However, since Phoebe has been born and the pregnant fog has lifted, I’ve realised a few things about my relationship with food during that time.
The first few things I noticed when I was expecting Phoebe was that I was super tired, and super hungry. Tv programmes which involved food, therefore were suddenly captivating when I had previously not been bothered. Come dine with me, Jamie’s 30 minute meals and weekend shows were frequently on. I started posting things like this. I ate much more frequently’; if I had breakfast at eight, I wanted lunch at eleven, then was hungry again by two. Frequent feeding was the key, and I learnt not to go out without food, or access to a shop to get some!
I ate a lot of mayonnaise. With pretty much anything [savoury!]. At the time I thought I was just in a food phase; often I’ll like one food for a bit, then something else, but although I still like mayonnaise now, it’s pretty clear that the levels I was eating was more than just normal! Given that until a few years ago I used to majorly dislike mayonnaise, and only ate it in a few select food combinations, perhaps I should have noticed this a little more than I did. I also ‘craved’ a lot of macaroni or pasta and cheese sauce. I would eat it for lunch, make batch loads to put in the fridge, and force it upon my friends who were here for food. Again, I didn’t think this was a craving; I already loved it. I love cheese, I love pasta. I had presumed cravings would be more I-have-to-have-it-now rather than I-really-rather-fancy but once again, I seem to be able to last more than my previous week or so without it now!
Thankfully, I didn’t have any ‘weird’ cravings like eating soap, coal or bizarre food combinations; my longings were quite mild. They say your body knows what it needs; if you are eating coal you’re short of iron, for example. I guess that means I was short of…eggs and milk and cheese perhaps. One Sunday my friend cooked vegetable rice with cheese for lunch- the next week I spent wanting more but denying myself, presuming it would pass. It didn’t. It occupied my mind; every time I went into the kitchen or thought about food I longed for that meal. In the end I made some, and then felt much better after eating it.
Whilst this was all vaguely amusing to husband whilst it happened, and interesting to me to remember now, I think there have been lasting effects. My understanding of cookery, and repetoire of recipes has vastly increased due to the avid food programme watching; we have three giant jars of mayonnaise in the fridge, and we have, actually, eaten macaroni cheese twice in a week. More because it’s easy and delicious. Now I’m thinking about it actually, maybe I could do with some now…
Sometimes I like to look back through my old posts, remind me of what inspired me when I started to blog; how often I wrote and what about. I’ve realised how the content of my blogs has changed, and how strange it is for me to have an ‘audience’ in my head when I write. I started just because I wanted to write stuff, and have somewhere to put it! Although I don’t have many followers or commenters most of the time, it’s strange how knowing who reads this can change the way I think about my blog; and how I can feel obliged to post stuff, instead of waiting for ‘inspiration’! Although I love documenting our everyday lives on here I’m hoping to do a little more writing just because, although I also anticipate a lot more photos coming this way soon! I’m working out where my love of images and words intersect, and where they complement each other.
Although I will continue to write about little things in life and where I’m at with everything, Phoebe, and what we’ve been doing, I’m hoping to feel less obliged to document every moment, every day and every good thing. Some lovely times in my life aren’t on here, and that’s ok- it doesn’t mean that my memories of them will spontaneously disappear, just like if I don’t take a photograph of a great moment or view it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen either. I’m currently trying to spend less time on technology related documenting and thought processes, more time with my new notebook, pens and ideas. I’ve got my paints out in the lounge all the time, I’ve been trying to make decisions on what colours to paint canvases for our bedroom wall, [I’m horrendously indecisive at times, it always comes down to too much choice]. I’m daydreaming about a possible novel writing nanowrimo adventure, rather than about what to instagram or anything [though I do love me some instagram!]
So, in short [!] forgive me for silences, things might be changing, or perhaps they will seem the same to you, I don’t know. Tell me your thoughts [comments, twitter, facebook and talking all work!] and we’ll enjoy this space together.
A little experimentation with water, using it to pull the pigment from the sketching pen. Lots of houses have hydrangea heads bobbing over their front garden walls, I love the variations of colours and the details in the big bundles of flowers. Our neighbours’ garden has a huge pink bush, we have a little baby version in purple. This white and pink one was peeking at me when we walked home the other day, and I couldn’t resist picking a single stem to put in an egg cup.
Inspiration is sitting in a coffee shop, watching people pass you by. The stillness of watching open water ripple as the wind rustles the leaves on the trees.
Inspiration is noticing the little things in the everyday; seeing pink flowers peek from the wall, the birds dipping and swooping from treetops and the clouds passing through the sky.
Inspiration takes you by surprise, the spark lighting in your eyes, the glimmer of excitement as you think of the possibilities.
Inspiration is hard to force, easy to miss, and wonderful to find.
I love looking back through old diaries and calendars and seeing what I was doing on the same day/ month a few years ago. However, diaries take up a lot of space, and I only sporradiclly go back through them. I saw this image of a calendar/journal thing on pinterest, and was inspired to make something similar.It seems nice to be able to write one thing on every card for each year, and be able to look back and see the cards fill up. I decided the easiest way to do this would be to get myself some index cards, an index card box, and a date stamp. The index card boxes were all really boring plastic, so I’ve altered it a bit to make it pretty! I haven’t yet got hold of enough postcards to put in as month dividers- I’m reluctant to chop mine up to fit so will get some new ones hopefully, but this is the process so far!
In case the photos aren’t too clear- the process involved:, stamping the dates on each index card, all 365 of them! Then sanding the plastic off to get the paper to stick, tearing the decoupatch paper into little pieces and gluing onto the box with a pva and water mixture. Layering the paper and gluing over to finish, and then writing on each card as the days pass. Voila! Postcard dividers to follow soon I hope.
I often get asked what I want to be, or what I want to do with my degree. ‘Do you want to be a teacher?’ they ask. I normally shrug, ‘maybe, I’m not sure. I’ll figure it out later.’
Really, I’m avoiding admitting what I would love to do.
When I was younger I wanted to be a hairstylist (not hairdresser!), a gymnastics coach and an author simultaneously. I also went through phases of wanting to own a shop (for the sole reason that I could get to use a till). Then all I wanted was to be a mum.
I’m blessed to know that the last one is happening, and imminently! But what of the rest?
Whether as a job, or on the side, or for fun, I really want to write. I love reading, love writing, love creativity. I know that making money as a writer has slim potential, but I know I’m already going to be busy with our family, and being a mother. I don’t really care about making money through it.
I don’t honestly have much confidence in whether I would be any ‘good’, I don’t know if I have a style or a niche, I don’t know what kind of books or things I can or would produce. The books I have done through Nanowrimo have been relatively short, and all quite different in their content.
I want to write things that matter, that affect people.
I love writing this blog, and I really want to keep on channelling creatively through it, but more than that I want it to be useful to God. I don’t know how he can use it, use me, and I probably never will, but that is my wish. To be a part of his plan, the way he plans it is the best thing.
I feel that I need to stop saying ‘I don’t know’ what I want to do, or that I’ll figure it out later. I want to be useful to God, and I want to be able to use the passions and talents he has given me to do that. I want to be a good wife, daughter, mother, and I want to use the creativeness that is within me, to write if that’s what I can do!
It’s been so long since I’ve properly got stuck into arty kind of things, I’ve surprised myself by the things which have popped out of my head today and yesterday!
First the doodles…