Sometimes the idea of slowing down seems a bit laughable- it feels both as though life is crazy with two little ones and that I don’t really do much besides keep them entertained, fed, rested and then try to keep on top of things around the house. But I am realising that we just need to slow it down a little as we enter the last few weeks before baby three arrives. I need to give my body grace and chance to get the rest and energy it needs, and to not feel bad about having slow days at home, at having to take things a little slower, for things to be simpler for a while.
We are slowly emerging from a run of illnesses, which have left us shut in the house during the first few weeks of preschool. That was frustrating but has slowly taught the little ones how to play together, negotiate sharing and tidying and facilitated better time together. The washing piled up as the rain fell, but there was grace and the sunshine is facilitating a catch up now. Thankfully my SPD this time around has been much better than it was with Simeon, and I’ve only had odd days with lots of pain, which has then gone away. I can still push the pram short distances even with two children in it, driving isn’t causing pain on the whole, so I am continuing to take it gently and listen to my body. Plenty of rest and not being too ambitious seems to be working, and I am choosing not to feel guilty about not being able to do all the things I could do before. This season, these few weeks, even, are temporary, and I want us to be able to enjoy them even if it’s at a slower rate.
Afternoons have become sacred almost, in that I very rarely, if ever, plan to do anything out of the house. Simeon is transitioning between two and one nap so I push him to stay awake until lunch, then put him down for a good long sleep. Phoebe and I just about squeeze side by side, bump and toddler legs pressed together and watch a film, or doze. Much as I would love to do hundreds of other things, more productive or enjoyable things during this time than rest, I’ve had to accept that it’s necessary if I don’t want to go to bed at 7.30 when the little ones do! It is what we both need at this point- a rest, a cuddle, some down time at home and a routine.
I am focusing on taking small steps nesting wise, keeping on top of simple routines and trying to have some level of calm. Small moments with my notebook or Bible to refresh and reset, soaking in family time and time with Josh when he’s not working. I am still making creating a priority, but in a more relaxed way. In a sense it is frustrating that I can’t very easily take advantage of fairs and things in the Christmas rush, when I could make more stock and meet more customers locally and in person. But my priority isn’t building a business, or a brand, it’s of faithfully serving God where I am right now, in my family. Our family is about to change massively again, and it’s exciting and great and going to be worth focusing solely on! I have been doing some more commissions which I am loving spending evenings doing when Josh is out, and continue to have paintings, prints and notebooks in my shop here and over on Etsy. Whilst I do have some ideas for Christmas stock and other new products, I am not pushing to do them in any rush, or at all. Less pressure, more joy.
Right now we are enjoying a slow morning at home on our day off, as we have no preschool and no weekly activity on a Wednesday. My ideas to start a new preschool activity class have been sidelined in favour of time at home, and I’m actually really happy with that choice. After a busy couple of days to start our week it’s nice to have some free time at home for the littles to play together, to bake, have dance parties, throw all the toys all over the floor. It looks like a toy/ book tornado has hit our lounge, we are still in pyjamas and the only plan I have is to wait for a delivery and eat lunch, perhaps cook a bit. Phoebe is busy pretending to be on a train and Simeon is wandering from thing to thing. Here is to a day spent slowing down together, on not being distracted by need-to s or shoulds, but enjoying being here, now.