This morning I dropped Phoebe off for nursery, her last session there, ever. The last few weeks, and in fact her whole time there has been bittersweet for me- she has loved it on the whole. She began just before her first birthday, doing three mornings while I was at uni, and settled quickly. Since moving to the toddler room I no longer vanished while her back was turned- she marched in, shouting ‘bye!’ and made best friends with another little girl.
Leaving her was always a bit bittersweet- I knew she was happy and always got reports of her exploring the sand, painting, digging in the mud, enjoying the slide, soft shapes… but I missed my little girl and wanted to be there to watch everything. Alas I had lectures to go to. This year she went to four sessions a week, then up to five in my last term of uni, just so I could do some more work in the library, and later have more time to sleep once Simeon was born. A combination of terrible twos and Simeon being born meant that although most mornings she was happy to go, we have lately had a few tantrums when I have left. ‘Read dat boo(k)’ she says, bringing me one and sitting on my lap. I used to agree, saying I would say bye bye after the story, and she would jump up and say ‘bye’ giving me a hug and waving us off.
Her nursery contract ended full time in June, and the last four or five weeks she has just had one or two sessions a week, so that it was less of a shock to the system, and because she does love playing there. Josh has been working away, meaning Simeon and I have dropped her off, but she’s had complete fear of missing out, realising Simeon gets to stay with me. One story turned into five, six, seven, and still crying when I tried to leave. Today, I left Simeon sleeping at home, with Auntie Beth, and took Phoebe in. On this, her last day, she was happy to go in, spotting her best friend, and quickly claiming the ‘pink ih-ceem’ which had been rescued from Granny’s car. We took in a card she had painted ‘paint! hands!’ and some cakes we baked yesterday, which she had sprinkled the demanded pink sprinkles on.
So this, today is bittersweet, but for the opposite reasons that nursery was bittersweet at first. I’m sad that she has to say goodbye to the place she’s done so much growing up, learning and all the friends she has made, and often asks to pray for when she goes to bed. Nursery has been such a good thing for us both, providing us both with a great mixture of being with each other for most of the week but still having time apart, doing our own thing. I know we’ll find a new nursery for her to start when she turns three, and maybe she will do some sessions before that, but it won’t be the same as this place I worked, while she grew inside me, this place she has spent sixteen months being nurtued, cared for, and growing up into the little girl she is now.
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