I am finding more and more these days I am learning, and understanding who I am and how that affects the way everyday life works best. I have changed, my circumstances have changed, and understanding these things are affecting my ability to live simply and intentionally in this really busy season with two little ones, and staying at home with them. There is something about motherhood, and indeed marriage, that really highlights those things you would rather not think about, and challenges the ways you may have done things before.
I am shy. My school reports always said ‘needs to speak up more in class’, but I couldn’t think of anything worse than a class of 30 students looking at me, even if I did know who they all were. Even at university I had to push myself to say things in seminar situations. I am also really bad at ‘small talk’, which has the potential to make it hard when meeting new people. If they are the kind of person brimming with questions and chatter then it is easy, but talking anyone who is quieter (like me, ironically) can be hard until I know them better.
How does this affect me trying to live intentionally? We have, in the last few weeks, moved to a new villaage, county, end of the country. We are now ‘down South’ after four years spent ‘up North’, building up those friendships where you are just comfortable to be and act as you are without worrying about the conversation topic. I have been pushing myself to get out, particularly in those first few weeks, and meet people, talk to them.
You can go to a park, have a run around, smile vaguely at some other parents and watch them push their child on the swing next to you, and let them walk on. Or you can think of something, anything, to say, and start a conversation. The very first time we went to the park here, it was us, and one other lady with two children on the roundabout. I suggested to Phoebe that she went on it too, and so we had the opportunity to get to know them. Phoebe spent two hours playing with the older little girl, picking flowers, hiding at the top of the slide and running around. We have met several friends this way, and I am learning that I need to step out of my comfort zone so that we can make friends and settle in. I also need to make a mental, or physical list of things to ask people when you are just getting to know them.
I may be shy, or quiet, my mind may draw a blank when trying to talk to someone new, but I can be who I am and make intentional steps to work with that.
This post is part of my 31 day series, Learning to simplify and live intentionally as part of write 31 days.
iwillbloom says
You sound just like me! I dread speaking up, talking to new people….typical INFJ!!!
Zoe Rose says
I can never figure out my personality type- but looking at INFJ makes sense! 🙂